How to Recover Hope

Trying to sleep while there is a baby in the house is interesting. Our second daughter, Mary, was born on March 1st, which means that at least since that day, I have not had a solid night’s sleep. Then last night, something amazing happened. Our little baby slept nearly the entire night, not waking up until close to 6 AM! As far as babies go, that is as close to a full night's sleep as I believe is possible.

Now here is a question for you. Even though Mary slept that entire time, do you think that means my wife or I got more sleep than usual?

The answer, as parents of infants readily know, is “of course, not!” Why? Well, this clip from the animated show Adventure Time explains it well, but with the added benefit of surrealism and silliness to make the explanation stick.

If the clip didn’t work for you, the answer as to why our night was not restful even given the opportunity was because we had become so accustomed to our early hours playing out a certain way that when suddenly circumstances changed, we found ourselves convinced something was horribly wrong. Of course, just like the puppies in this clip were fine, so too was Mary. Her parents, on the other hand, both needed naps later in the day!

I think some version of this problem is something many people are struggling with just now. Being so convinced that at some point soon something bad is going to happen, that we have lost the ability to feel much joy in the moment. The lockdowns somewhat primed us for this. For two years, every time we would make plans, new restrictions would come out that would cause us to cancel. Every time it looked like the pandemic had finally turned a corner to the point where we could have hope for the future, a new variant would crop up and we would again be near square one.

Thinking like this takes a toll on us, though. When we are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop it becomes hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. It becomes hard to have hope that tomorrow can be better than today. It becomes easy to think that all bad news is the biggest deal ever. And it becomes hard to get up the gumption to work to help one another, the environment or ourselves because we begin to wonder if there is even a point if any minute now the looming axe will surely fall.

Not mary, but it is a cute stock photo

But here is the thing, there have been hard times before now as well. Times so rough that the people living them also felt themselves joyless and abandoning hope in a brighter tomorrow. The Bible records several examples of times like this, from the devastating familial loss found in the book of Job, to the depression and ennui dealt with in Ecclesiastes, to the desperation of the Israelites dragged into exile against their will in the book of Isaiah. A part of the answer that each of these books comes to for how to deal is to make a habit of being thankful for what remains. To praise God through the rough times, to enjoy what fills our days, and to be thankful for what has come before. These three books do not say to simply ignore the bad because of course they don’t. There is no long-term strength to be found nor any problem that can be solved by burying our heads in the sand. Instead, they remind us to never forget that even during the worst of times, there are still things to bring us enjoyment in the here and now, as well as given all that we have been through, there are always reasons to hope for the future as well.

This idea, that always making an effort to be thankful even during the worst of times is a good thing to do, is one that, unsurprisingly, recent research is backing up. When you feel like the world is against you and that there is no reason to have joy in today or hope for tomorrow, the chances are that even though things are bad, you likely are also not doing the best job of seeing the good that is present in your life either. Our human brains tend to readily see the negative before us. This is a good thing as it helps us avoid the bad around us and as such, stay alive. Unfortunately, a side effect of this is that the bad we remember tends to crowd out the good that is also happening.

Being mindfully thankful, as such, helps us to keep a more accurate picture of reality in our heads. This in turn helps us to see the good that is already here as well as the good that has come before and to find joy in both. Once you can do that, hope for tomorrow is easier to come by and along with it the strength to keep on even if it seems there is another shoe just waiting to drop.

Following the pandemic, I think this is a habit that would do us well to cultivate in our lives. To spend time, as both psychology and the Bible suggest, just being mindfully thankful for the good in our lives. It doesn’t have to be too extensive of a daily ritual, just take a minute every day to say thanks for a few small items that either came before or are happening now. If you can’t readily think of something, know that both God and I think you are someone worthwhile. There is always that.

If we all take this practice up, perhaps we can regain some amount of lost hope for what is to come. Perhaps we can also get up the gumption to, with God’s help, build a better future as well. And if nothing else, perhaps it will help us over the days gone by of finding the other show still hasn’t fallen, to learn how to again get a full night’s sleep.